semilethal | LEO - POST MOVIE

[He goes utterly and completely still at the larger hands on his shoulder -

D̶o̵n̶'̴t̸ ̵r̸e̵m̴e̶m̸b̸e̵r̸ ̷d̶o̴n̸'̸t̶ ̵r̸e̴m̴e̶m̷b̶e̷r̸ ̵d̸o̴n̴'̵t̸ ̷r̵e̸m̶e̸m̸b̴e̵r̸

before he settles again.

And he ...gets it. When he'd come up with the plan on the fly, when he portaled himself and Krang in there, he hadn't really come up with a plan to get out. On the one hand, he was prepared for that. On the other hand, he trusted them to figure something out.]

I know, look. Look, I get it. But. I knew you guys would figure out a way.

That's just it Leo, I didn't. [Bows his head again, shoulders up and tense, fists clenched tight atop his knees. Every inch of him feels exhausted and sick, but none more than his heart.]

I was ready to grab Donnie and Mikey and get them outta there. I didn't- I didn't jump into any plans, I didn't stop to think. I just, I- [And here it is, here's the grief he hadn't been able to show at the waterfront, staring up at the destroyed half of a Krang ship as it speckled with explosions and fell. His shoulders shake as he sobs over the sheer guilt of having, even for one moment, given up on protecting one of his little brothers.] I gave up on you. Leo, I'm sorry.

[The reverse being that Leo never gave up on him...

He watches his big brother start to crack and break in a way he hasn't ever in front of him, in front of the others either. Sure, Raph's cried sometimes but usually over something inconsequential in the long run. Not over this. Not over them. The big guy had gone out of his way to save Leonardo at the start, got captured, got taken over and alien cocooned for who knows how long...

Leonardo opens one arm up to him, making a beckoning motion.]

Hey, c'mere. Come here. [Raph willing, Leonardo will hug him with that one arm as gently as he can manage with the pain.]

It's why there's four of us, you know? Can't all carry all the hope all the time, sometimes you gotta let someone else carry it. [He has no idea what he's saying or talking about, but this is the kind of stuff heroes say, right? The kind of stuff Raphael needs to hear whether Leonardo believes it or not.] Mikey had enough for all of you and he did it. So it's all right.

[Even if Raphael wasn't 'officially' the leader anymore, he still is very much the eldest, biggest, and strongest. He's the heavy, he's the team shield. He's the one who saves his brothers from hits, who does the headcount to make sure they all get out alive. He picks them all up and carries them to safety and even if Raphael's felt as if he could crack under that pressure, he wouldn't have it any other way, regardless of whatever their team positions may be.

But that's also the problem, too. Raphael does crack under pressure. The pressure isn't a big fight, a scary bad guy; it's the thought that if his brothers get hurt, if they fail, it's Raphael's fault for not keeping up morale or for not making a plan. This whole entire thing, trying to get the key in the first place, trying to get it back-

Everything that- that happened after. The things he can't think about just yet, what happened to him, what he did to Leo- and then what he couldn't do for Leo, it's all just too much. He doesn't want to show Leo this, he doesn't want to show this to any of his brothers, but maybe he-

Well, maybe it's- Maybe he can trust them with it. Maybe just for a few minutes. Just long enough to release some of that pressure.

Leo's (small, trembling) arm goes around Raph's neck and Raph immediately stands to move closer and down, hover over him. He wraps his arms around Leo as gently as he can possibly manage, but there's so much of him and so little of his brothers that he ends up just blanketing Leo anyway. Knowing that the only reason they got Leo back is because of Mikey both terrifies and warms Raphael, but he doesn't know what to do with it in the face of his own guilt.]

Y-you, [Raph pulls back just enough to wipe at his eye, going back in for the hug again as soon as he possibly can,] You ain't old enough yet to be talkin' like that. Sounding like a grandpa over here, Mr. "Best Ninja in the World."

[The hug is all right. He's trying to get over that, the instinctive reaction from hours ago (it really was just hours ago, not even half a day ago, that they were fighting, that Raphael was trying to kill him, was clutching around his neck firmly enough to dangle him over the edge of the bridge like he was a fly-) by staying in close.

But his chest rattles with a breathless chuckle.] Eeeew, don't- Don't call me that, don't call me old or grandpa, gross.

[But it's good. It's such a good relief to have him back. And if nothing else? He can keep this between them, leader to leader. The two obviously older brothers. It won't fix things all around, but it can at least repair this between the two of them.]

And "Best Ninja" remains to be seen. I'm workin' on that one.

With a long way to go. [Gotta get that little jab in there. Leo feels shaky, like he could break apart at any moment, but Raphael's already troubled him enough with that breakdown. He needs to be strong for the others while they heal. They went through so much to get him back, and he- he can hold it together for them until they're okay.

Raph pulls back and snuffles (snorts) hard, smacking himself on the cheeks until he feels a bit more evenly keeled.] Plaster'll probably be dry by the time they finish that pillow fort. I'll carry you down there.

[That wasn't even a real breakdown, bro! Leo doesn't look quite ready to let him go, still keeping one hand on him. Afraid any second he lets go, Raphael will be ripped from them again and Leo couldn't bear that, he couldn't do it a second time like that.]

Awh, you don't- You don't hafta do that. I'll be fine. [And he lowers his voice a little.] Might help Mikey feel better to see me up on my own, y'know?

Nice try. You ain't movin' one inch for the rest of today, got it?

[Look, Raphael is not afraid of Donnie. ...but he was real big mad.]

Oh, well if that's the case, then I guess I'm staying here. I'll take a fresh cucumber water and my reading materials.

[Donnie was indeed real big mad. And - well. Leo doesn't really know how everyone else is feeling about his decisions today. He almost doesn't want to face it, lest they also all be big mad.]

[oh gonna play the diva card? lmao u thought]

Sure. You go ahead and ask April to cut you up some cucumbers. [And watch her struggle against her impulse to pour that cucumber water on you, scrub.

Raphael just picks up the entire cot like it's a couple of grapes and starts maneuvering it and Leo out of the medbay.]

Uh. Raph?

[Is what he manages to get out before the cot is UP and MOVING, and he is clinging to the sides of it for dear life.]

Donnie might kill you for moving this out. [Donnie's going to kill them for a lot of things probably, this will just be bottom of the list.]

[Dramatic. Like he's gonna drop you WHOOPS- no false alarm, he's okay, just almost tripped.]

Sounds like Donnie needs to work on stickin' around if he wants people to do stuff a certain way! [...a bit long-winded, but you get the picture.

Mikey gives a cry of joy when Raphael and his cargo appear around the corner. The pillow pile has turned into an impressive bedsheet fort, and Mikey crawls through several "hallways" before bounding over to his brothers with his hands clasped.] Leo, Leo! We gave you the biggest room even though it was going to be a ballroom mostly because we couldn't get the chandelier to stay up!

[That's real long winded, but Leo at least gets the picture. His breath catches at that almost-trip though, clutching to the side bars of the cot before being set down.

And gosh darn it, if Mike's enthusiasm isn't contagious. He wants to look better for him at least.]

What? No, you didn't do that. Also maybe I wanna be in the same room as you guys, did you think of that?

[Mikey crawls from where he was climbing on Raph to instead climb onto Leo's cot in order to give him full-force "I'm so touched I love my family" eyes from up close. Raphael lumbers off to check out the fort while Mikey searches for a way to cling to Leo without disturbing his injuries.]

Awwww. Why do you think you got the biggest room, Leo? So we can sleep over!

Okay, then it's not my room, it's our room, Mikey.

[But how can he be mean to those eyes. He'll use his other arm that did not hug Raph to hug Mikey, give both arms the hug workout now.]

You guys put a lotta work into this one, huh? Looks good.

[This close, Leo may be able to see the odd marks on Mikey's hands and forearms, nearly Lichtenburg in style if not for their precise geometric shape. It doesn't keep him from returning his brother's hug, as close to climbing into his lap as he dares without agitating Leo's wounds too badly.]

Don't it, though?! Dad said we were gonna have to take it down tomorrow but you know what? I think we should pull saviors of the world card to keep it.

[He does see it, his eyes lingering on those marks and tracing them up from Mikey's hands to his elbows where they start to fade. Whatever Mike was able to tap into to get him out, he hopes it doesn't have any lasting effects. Or further use would make it worse.]

I mean, I'm sure between the fo- [Wait no there's April and Casey] six of us, we could get Pops to leave it up.

[Pops, who is currently taking a great deal of time making sure his chair can fit in the pillow-slash-blanket fort.]

Whaddaya say guys? Team effort?

[For a moment Mikey beams, his huge, gap-toothed grin that shows up when he's comfortable in the knowledge that he's surrounded by love and comfort-

only for it to slide off his face seconds later as he casts a worried look toward Donatello's lab.] ...we're not a full team right now, though. I dunno...feels weird.

[He follows his little brother's gaze and.. yeah.]

I know. It's... He'll come around. One of you will definitely have to go get him though. If it's me, he'll just yell at me some more.

[He lays his head back again on the now-only-a-little-mushy ice pack and stares at the ceiling.] Some pizza from Run of the Mill might be good to lure him out.

Leo...

[Mikey hesitates, hovering over his brother until Raph approaches, not really trying to hide that he was eavesdropping a bit.] Mikey, snack duty.

[It's not smooth, but Mikey just gives Raphael a semi-sullen look before sliding down off the cot. He takes one more moment to give Leo the quickest, gentlest cuddle he can manage before he leaves for the kitchen.

Raph folds his arms and looks down at Leo, disquiet plain on his face.] Run of the Mill probably ain't even open. The whole city's a mess up there.

[Man, Leo cannot ever express how much those brother cuddles mean to him now, the thought that he might never have gotten them again still on the forefront.

He watches Mikey go before Raph has to come rain on his nonexistent parade.]

Can't I have some wishful thinking? Senor Hueso's probably fine [Probably], he wouldn't let anything happen to that place.

[If anything, he can see Bone Man begrudgingly letting youkai hide out there from the damage while saying he hates it and doesn't want to but nothing stopping him. Hueso's a big ol' softy when it comes down to it.]

[Another sigh before Raphael -the truest testament to how bone-deep exhausted he is- sinks down and sits on a few pillows on the ground, holding his knees even if it means he has to crane his neck to look up at Leo on his cot. Maybe he'll figure out how to use the lever thingies on it to make it collapse down so they can just wheel it into the blanket fort, rather than make Leo move.]

April went to check on him, [Raph offers, picking at one of his fingernails, first with his nails, then his teeth. Half his body still doesn't feel like his.] I dunno what to say to him either. I don't like us spendin' the night apart, not after...that.

[He watches that motion, what Raph is doing. And he gets it, he really does unfortunately Understand it. How conscious had Raphael been for all of it? Was he aware of what his body was forced to do? Did he have any way to fight against it, or is it all jsut a big blank space in his memory for an entire day? Leonardo wonders and knows this isn't the time or place to ask.

(But then when's the next chance they'll have Mikey and Donnie out of the room? When one or both come back, they likely aren't going to leave again for some time.)

Leo carefully reaches for that hand.]

I know. I don't either, so I- Maybe he won't yell at her. I'd have to kick his butt if he does. [He knows Donnie won't. But it's nice to feel in control of literally anything, even if it's just saying something.]

[And unlike Donatello, Raphael takes Leo's hand almost immediately, all gentle care as per usual. His brothers are all so small.]

You know he won't. Even if he did, she'd straighten him out even better than any of us could.

[Jiggles Leo's hand slightly, pulling in a slow, tired breath before letting it out.] ...hey. [Looks up at Leo, tooth catching on his lip as he works his jaw, thinking.] I don't want you feelin' bad about this.

[Leo's fine letting Raph take the hand. It was freely offered as a touch point so Raph wouldn't just... chew his own hand off to prove he's in control. He still wants Donnie down here with them, still wants to make his brother understand now instead of in the heat of the moment like Leo did.

But he looks up at Raphael with those words.]

What? Please, it's me. We all got out, saved the world, nothing to feel bad about.

[He feels so bad about every moment of it. He will never be able to get that image of Raphael hovering over him protecting him from the Krang's stab out of his mind.]

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